Half the Energy, Twice the Spunk

1. Tyler learned what 'dense' means (as in dense meat). Try explaining 'dense' to a 5 year old.

2. 'Accidentally' dumping 1/2 a bottle of kids shampoo into the bathwater is ALOT OF FUN.

3. It is going to cost over $4000 to feed my 7 year old for the next 3 months. (Thank goodness for insurance)

4. Typing 2204355 into google and clicking the 'I feel lucky' button produces a strange man singing into chicken drumsticks set on a psychadellic rainbow background that makes my children laugh until they cry no matter how many times I play it.

5. If you forget that the Seating Clinic delivery guy is supposed to come pick up a base at 10am, and you ignore the stranger at the door hoping he will just go away.. he wont. He will instead go back to his van and call you several times (calls you will ignore), then wander around your house, hoping you left the aforementioned base outside somewhere for him to pick up... he will do this until he happens to see you and your 2 kids hanging out in the living room through the front window (at which point it will suddenly dawn on you that he's not a murderer - he's the delivery guy you were supposed to be expecting)... You will feel like a moron when you go and try to pretend you didn't hear the doorbell 5 times and the telephone 3 times and 'honestly' only realised he was there when you saw him through the window... He will smile and pretend he buys it. But you both know you're just a big chicken who doesn't open the door to strange men you aren't expecting (or have forgotten to expect). You won't really care that you looked like a fool though.

6. When you take 30 GREAT pictures of your kids playing under the big beach umbrella at the bottom of the wheelchair ramp, it is for naught if you have not put the memory card in your camera first.

7. 5 year olds can actually eat 1/2 a large watermelon all to themselves. 7 year olds can eat the other half.

8. You are a lucky woman when you can email your child's pediatritian and request 6 perscriptions/letters for insurance companies, charities, and non-profits, and he responds within a few hours with 'we'll try to get them out this week to you!'.

9. The 5 year old will eat ANYTHING if it comes out of our garden. The child HATES onions with a passion but he watched me pick one out of the garden and decided it was his favorite food ever - and he did indeed eat it.

10. When it's brutally hot out the cat will sprawl out in the kitchen sink just for the feel of the cool metal. The children will LOVE this, and will attempt to use the opportunity to offer said cat a bath. The cat will NOT love this.

11. Letting the kids spend 1 hour in the bathtub before bed is the maker of miracles I wish I knew about years ago.

12. 3 queen sized sheets, a camo throw rug, 5 utility clamps, a few chairs, and a whole wack of pillows and stuffed bears can transform any living room into a fort of epic proportions - and will bring mom HOURS of peace (well 'peace' is a relative term in this house...)

13. Setting up bird feeders within 'cat-leaping distance' of the deck rail is either a wonderful source of entertainment or a cruel cruel joke...

14. At the end of the day - when the floors are washed, the fans are on full blast, the laundry is folded and the kids are healthy and sleeping in their beds... the house is quiet... It's a little piece of paradise...

every night. :)